This is a silly, but really special song. It's a nod to what's been happening in my life since undergrad. Since graduating, I haven't worked on music nearly as much as I hoped I would. This may sound like a cop-out, but it's honestly because I wasn't taking my medication.
It's a long, stupid story, but as I've said before I've struggled with various mental health conditions for most of my life. I've gotten various diagnoses over the years: ADHD, depression, anxiety, etc. In high school I was on a pretty good cocktail of medication, which is why I was able to do well in school and function relatively normally.
I forget what exactly caused me to stop taking my medication, but I do know after high school I didn't want to take my meds anymore. I just wanted to be my authentic self without the medication. It was also because I was holding myself to a neurotypical standard of being to function without medication. Plus, once I got to college, my schedule became so irregular that it became difficult to stick to a medication regimen.
This was a very, very bad idea. Without the medication, I pushed myself harder than I ever should have to the point of burnout. This is why I've struggled to hold a job and haven't worked as much on music as I hoped since undergrad: because I cared more about what people thought of me than my personal health.
If you take medication, please please please stick to your regimen. There is no shame in taking medication to function. What people think of you is not more important than your health. You need to take care of yourself first.
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