Lately I've had a lot on my mind. I feel like part of the reason I've had trouble holding a job in my 20's is because of mental and emotional immaturity. Like I said I was never formally diagnosed but I've been highly suspected of having autism spectrum disorder, which can often result in developmental delays. My therapist, who teaches a class on adolescent development, seems to think so too.
I think the reason I mature slower than a lot of people is I'm much more intelligent than most, which means a greater capacity of information storage. However, I feel maturity happens for most when capacity is reached and one is forced to empty all that they know and start over. I've also never adapted to change well, resulting in large amounts of anxiety. So, between emotional disorders and developmental delays, I'm basically just a kid living in an adult world.
Unfortunately, most employers expect people to be neurotypical. They expect people to have outgrown or otherwise handled their baggage by the time they enter the workforce. I wish I could get them to open their minds, but until the day comes all I can do is try my best.
Gah. Life sucks. I love myself, but other people don't love me and I don't love them. We gotta meet each other halfway if we hope to get along but society shows no signs of being flexible which means I gotta pull all the weight if I hope to survive.
So what can I do? I'm just a kid, and life is a nightmare...
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